were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
