If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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