Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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