I hate your face
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
