no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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