It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
