oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
