Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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