Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You made out with two different species that night
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
