I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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