Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
