All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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