Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
