And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
