if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Houston, we have a squirter
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
