Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
