spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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