no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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