I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize