We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
