i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
