Fuck appropriateness.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
