I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
