If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
