Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
