She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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