using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
