I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
