the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
