My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Randomize
