oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
