is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
