he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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