Do you still have your period?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
