listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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