the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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