STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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