I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
