You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize