I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I showed him my bush... on skype.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
