I think my fart just growled at me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
