Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
