1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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