He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
