Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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