Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I looked at my own cervix.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
