Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
