ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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