and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
