Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize