i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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