Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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