is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
