PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
