I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
