I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
